I turned 30 last month. I have nothing to show for it. As a little girl I had many dreams (of grandeur) to achieve, like: outdo Madonna and Michael Jackson, be an architect, fashion designer, writer, etc. Then when the Internet came along I wanted to be a hacker and be known as the utmost computer specialist. The problem with all of this is that I never could focus on just one thing long enough to master it.

I probably could have been a performer if I actually had of went and taken singing lessons along with some musical instrument. I still have my fashion collectives and looking over them now, they weren't all that bad, just needed better drawing/sketching abilities. My writings just plain ole sucked. I use this blog to recount stuff to myself and to have a quick place to view my favorite blogs. As far as hacking and computer specialist go, well, it seems technology grows on a daily basis these days. My school isn't even offering C++ anymore, they're moving on to C#. I didn't finish C++ yet!

I was told by one of my teachers in high school that I am one of those people that can excel at anything if I put both my mind and my heart into it. I had no clue what she meant at that time. I thought it was just another one of those pep talks to get me to do my classwork. Today, I understand fully what she meant. Focus and determination are underrated.

I've been working on my Associates in Information Systems for 3 years. I keep taking two semesters off, because financially, I am screwed. I work for one of those package delivery places, which is killing me both physically and mentally. It's the benefits what's I'm working for. Despite all of this, I think in the long run I would like to open my very own 7-11 and just spend the rest of my days in school. I say this because there are so many things I want to learn about, but having to work seems to keep me from learning them. I'm hoping I can spend a couple of years establishing the 7-11 and then leave it to my management to handle it, while I spend my days learning and maybe even traveling.

I guess this is the point I'm supposed to admit to myself that subconsciously I've been preparing myself for Jeopardy or some imaginary test that measures just how much useless information I have acquired over the years. Oh and I guess I should admit that I actually thought I would win the lottery one day also. I used to sit and write stories about what I'd do if I won. Depending on the time that I wrote them, each story had it's own flavor. For instance, I can tell if I was mad at someone at the time, because their name wouldn't be mentioned. Or if I was listening to rock music at the time, one of the things on the list of stuff to do would be get guitar lessons. I listen to almost every genre of music and at any given time I may be more partial to one than the other. Like right now I just want to listen to latin music.

Well, enough rambling. I have to get to bed so that I can leave a couple of hours early for work. I have a feeling I'm going to be driving on ice this morning.