Phew I finally got through my first semester, though I feel cheated by getting a B instead of an A in college algebra. Im glad its over because there was too much silly stuff going through my mind in that class. I had this weird ass crush on one of the guys in the class and everytime I was less than ten feet away from him I immediately went into *retarded* mode. Geez when am I going to grow up!
To make things worse we went a while without a water well and, more than a few times, I went to school smelling like my name should be trashcan woman or sth. It was so embarrassing, having to sneak over to my sister's place for a shower and what not. Sometimes I feel my family is cursed, because everytime we get one thing fixed another thing goes wrong. Ill enjoy this moment of peacefulness while it lasts.
The last time I wrote I was still in #Voltaire and angry at school# mode, now my new topic of interest is Hassidic people. My father has always worked with Hassidic people and yet for all these years they have remained a complete mystery to me. I was fascinated with them as a child because I thought they were a whole community of magicians, because the men wear black suits like the magicians do. Anyway they seem like the only non-dysfunctional people through the glasses I peek through at the world around me. Of course this is silly because I know nothing about them at all. Most likely I will get around to looking for a website that explains more about their culture.
I saw this horrible movie called Stranger Among Us and it has Melanie Griffith playing this ditzy cop investigating the murder of a Hassidic man. I learned some cool stuff, but it seemed like a rip off of Witness with the Quakers meet Harrison Ford. Well, anyway I learned that they study the Qabbalah which I had no clue that they study. Ive skimmed through some texts such as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and such, I never made the connection, even though it teaches you the Hebrew alphabet.
A lot of questions were left unanswered in the movie. For instance, why do they keep to themselves? Is it for protection? How come some seem so peaceful and others seem very mean? Like I met these two men that my father was working for and they seemed so at peace and kind, but at the supermarket there's like these dudes that come off very rude. Being the mouse that I am, I internalize, and wonder if Ive offended them some way. I don't know their customs and we're not taught anywhere about who they are. Are they a group with one mind? Or are they just people that share a common religion, but have different groups? What does it mean to be Hassidic? in the United States? What is life like for a child growing up Hassidic? Do they even want people to know about them or is it sth. sacred and private? Is it even proper to ask these questions or to try to communicate with them beyond business matters? Oh the mystery! A Committment: To learn about Hassidicism ( is that a word?) a little each day.
Audiogalaxy is basically gone, so I've moved to some of the overseas file sharing nets. Ive finally learned the greatness of making a MP3 CD vs. a music CD. Do I feel a bit guilty? Sure, but not by much. My justification is that most of the stuff I download I've bought in cassette already and Ill be damned if I have to buy it again because they world changed the type of media on me. I still don't own a stand alone CD player. I listen to the car CD player and the one on my comp. Half the time I download a song, listen to it a couple of times and get sick of hearing, then hit delete. It's not worth the entire $17+ just to do that. I have a SugarRay cassette which Ive only listened to one time, the day I bought it. Its been collecting dust for years now.
Before calling it a night, Id like to remember Layne Stayley of Alice In Chains. Too bad no one dedicated this song to him before, but I will now. For your soul Layne, I dedicate Zeppelin's In the Light, because everybody needs it, and I miss you and wish you had seen it long enough to put the needle down. I don't dare judge you, because Ive seen people try to kick it to no avail. God bless you and may your soul go on to bigger and better things. Thank you for your great voice and thoughtful lyrics. You will be missed but not forgotten.
Amen
