- 2xy.org=f(ab)!
- a girl with way too much to say
- bite this
- climb to the stars
- im erica online
- issho.net
- i will dare
- johnman's id
- kweimann
- new york london paris munich
- pigdog.org
- rakerman
fave books
- Stephen King's The Stand
- Stephen King and Peter Straub's The Talisman
- Vladmir Nabokov's Lolita
- Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon
- W.E.B. DuBois's The Souls of Black Folks
- Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon
- Æschylus's The House of Atreus: Agammemnon/Libation-Bearers/Furies
- Marya Hornbacher's Wasted
- Will Durant's The Story of Philosophy
- Voltaire's Candide
fave movies
I Power Blogger
Sunday, March 04, 2001
- spent most of the day at Zeldman. realized i have no talent(s) and now i want to jump off a bridge! since my creative mind is stuck in the 80's, i still find big,bold,gawdy things attractive. [remember the BOLDTYPE shirts?]
what the hell do i do? i can't just reach into my mind and change what i find to be creative and exciting. i have no clue how to make pages that look like The Cell or that last Star Wars movie. that's what everything reminds me of lately. if not those two movies, you get sites that look like the Matrix or Akira. they're all beautiful and make me want to hide my head in a hole somewhere.
this is a serious issue. a lot of people have not found what's right for them, career-wise, and i'm no different.i've done everything from cashier to working on mainframes [MicroVax]. i wanted to be a Madonna or a Michael Jackson, but then i realized that even if i made it to their stages there will still be people to bring you down. i'm not even famous and i still have that problem.
i'm not happy with anything i make. oh gosh, i'm getting on my on nerves. it's time for some gratitude-in-my-attitude.
- for my physical wellness. i have absolutely no handicaps, physically.
- for my mind, though it may not be all there, it still allows me to be independent. no care-taker is needed (although one that looks like this)
- for not being hungry
- for not being homeless esp. in this awful storm (im in new jersey)
- for all the material things i do have, most people don't even know what they are, let alone have them.
- the ability to know that i'm not good enough
- the ability to know that i can keep on trying until finally i die
- oh and don't let me forget baby-la, she's the one being that i know loves me, no matter how bad i am.
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