I just left coolhomepages.com. i'm not that impressed. the flash sites were great but too chaotic, even for my attention span. however, most of the designers placed some type of note like 'this site is only for graphic display, yada yada yada.' for me, that's fair enough. i'm learning geometry again so that i can learn how to design. i'm gaining a new appreciation for geometry and a headache from paintshop pro. i have some people of inspiration that I want to mention: silver has created a great tutorial for the graphically-challenged ( like me). how so inspirational? well its simple, i've been stuck using the airbrush and preset shapes on PSP for the past 6 months. i never knew that the Retouch selection had those kewl effects (i.e., smudge,dodge,and push) PSP's tutorial doesn't really help much, unless you know what your looking for. so after reading Silver's tutorial i realized that i should actually sit down and play with PSP ( like we all had to with Windows 3.x,95,etc.) by the way, delve deeply into silver's world. not only is she a great artist/designer she also writes poetry, it's real poetry too! (i call mine poetry but it's more like ranting.) be sure to read blackness, it's my fave of hers. Just when i think that I've become less judgmental, someone comes along and kicks me in the pants. this time it was more subtle and i was able to recognize it on my own. It's freaky but Jerwin Maximo of 2xy.org has made me realize that i hold a screwed up view that homosexuality(not so much lesbianism) is not natural. Who the fuck am i to say what is natural? this all came about when reading the perfection of malaise i realized that i often say to my sister, "that men will screw anything and they often look for new holes...(i.e., other men, kids,etc.)" if you read the perfection of malaise you will understand the type of awakening i had. that kind of thought process (or lack of) that i have eventually alienates other people. i was not conscious of this prejudice or egotism. all my life i have been surrounded by at least one gay man(even branded a "hag"), then on Saturday past, the ball just dropped when i read this small but in depth passage. it made me feel so many different things because it was straight-forward and real. i could relate. i feel like sth. is wrong with me too, especially when i encounter media written by bigoted conservatives who, underhandedly, group me as a welfare mother just because of my race. i haven't had a steady job since 96, but have never been on welfare. i'm somebody too and so is Jerwin. so, too, is anyone that has a heartbeat and can feel pain, love, and alienation. i don't know, it was just sth. weird that happens when you spend more than 2 min. at someone's personal page. A closing thought:(more Plato) And last are the few whose delight is in meditation and understanding; who yearn not for goods, nor for victory, but for knowledge... ...these are the men of wisdom, who stand aside unused by the world. Will Durant
The Story of Philosophy
[Ch.1, sec. 6]
posted by Lady Ursula at 3:50 AM